Vivian Greven, Leea I

1.

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1.5

Do me a quick favor and imagine that you're floating up close to the sun, like you're sitting on a magic carpet and easing on up there, and while you're doing that, imagine that another smaller but just as powerful sun has appeared in your solar plexus. The sun and its little twin are drenching you in their light, from without and from within. Why are we doing this? Because it's good, because it feels good, because it's free to imagine things that feel good. Because I do this a lot these days and I like how it feels, and you're a person, too, so you might, too.  

2.

A reminder of something our very old pal Epictetus said long, long ago.  I've brought up Epictetus in the Zephyr before but this disaster we're facing is really Epictetus's time to shine, I think. This quote gets it done all by itself.

 Are you washing your hands at all the different times it makes sense to wash your hands? Excellent. Are you social distancing and getting the word out to encourage others to do it? If you have special arrangements you can make to ease things for yourself and your loved ones, are you making them? Day by day? Nice.   Are you doing things you enjoy? 

Are you listening to music that lifts you up? Are you connecting where you can with your favorite people? The power of your will has its reach and you can figure out what that is. You make some calls about how you want to drive that thing. Physical acts, written words, your voice, prayers, meditation. For you, your family, your friends, your neighborhood, your city, your country, the world. Take action where you want to, however you're moved to do it.  You also have a sense of what's beyond your will.  Check out how your state of being fluctuates with how much attention you put on the places you've determined that your will doesn't reach. Do you kind of like the heat of the news and the talk around the news? Does a part of you thrive on the danger/thrill feelings, or the indignation, or even the extreme poignance, or does it get too much for you easily? How much is the right amount for you to get your heart strings pulled? When do you start to fray or crumble past your okay point?

Epictetus wants you to drive your attention with a firm hand so the balance is where you like it. He is not here to argue with me if that's not true. He's a Stoic! His ghost can handle me speaking for him even if I'm screwing it up. It's beyond his control. No problem.  

Vivian Greven, Ode

3.

Hypothesis: Fear that doesn't contain real live adrenaline from an immediate threat might be an overwhelming amount of love that we're running away from. We maybe trap the love in our brains to avoid letting it loose in the rest of us.  Further hypothesis:If we're constantly frying in the fear-juices of our terrible imaginings, we might be able to let off some of the pressure by going limp into actual grief, the grief that comes with all real love. The grief is pre-loaded because we're aware that everything changes and never stops.  It's worth a try. Fear isn't doing anything for us. Love-grief is the real truth. No running from that.  

4.

An asthma story with advice in itSeveral years ago I had a major illness, seven months bed-bound. Bronchitis turned into asthmatic bronchitis turned into asthma turned into utterly debilitating asthma, and then some other twists and turns came after that, and then I got better.  When the asthma was at its worst, I'd stack three pillows on the bed in front of me, sit up and rest my head sideways on the pillows, and wait for breath. Breath wasn't something I drew during those episodes. I had to wait for it like a bus, lying there limp with my mouth open. The breath bus always came but I learned about what made the bus take longer to come and what made the wait bearable.  Active thinking—following even the most innocuous line of thought out on purpose—put the bus off and upped the struggle factor. Thought made an instant wave of tiny agitation, and any agitation drove my breath away. These episodes could last as long as three hours, so I figured out how to relax and inhabit a thought-free cloud of good feeling. I think it was basically faith, or trust, served neat, by itself. If I could hang out in that blank, peaceful cloud, breath would eventually arrive, and everything was cool enough.  When an episode like this would strike, the biggest hurdle was recognizing it.  Once I understood and accepted that I was looking at a pillow situation, I'd set 'em up, flop down, do it like it had to be done, and eventually the episode would pass.

 There's a way to ride this pandemic out and I believe in your ability to find it and I don't even need to know specifically who I'm talking to when I say that. Live must get lived and life will show you how to do it. Trust.

Vivian Greven, Ozu I

We'll get to be with each other again in person. It's coming. Hands, kisses, hugs, the works. Holy damn, will that be something.

tree and yellow wildflowers photo above by Silvestri Matteolighthouse and sea photo up there by Casey Horner

Vivian Greven, Leea II

I'm happy you're here reading.Keep the faith, everybody.

Love,Tina