Tina Rowley
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Weekly Zephyr #80: Dearly Departed

Weekly Zephyr #80: Dearly Departed

October 30, 2019

Rebecca Reeves, Our Darkest Hour (detail), 2017

In the dream I was driving a car

following another car driven by a shadowy man I needed to talk to I followed him onto a highway and pretty soon I was gaining on him I made even better time when my car started flying I was really tracking him Unfortunately my sunroof was open

and some force pulled me up and out of it

oh no

my little body was going up so high

into the atmosphere

away from my car and the man and my plan and the whole direction I was going

sucked up up up the wrong way going, going going with no end in sight to WHAT to WHERE

WHY

WEEKLY ZEPHYR #80: Dearly Departed Spotify YouTube

Rebecca Reeves, Keepings (family room III)

Something else terrible besides the pure vast unknown could be needy ghosts with strong agendas who don't listen

I've really worried about this one. I have a fear of being consumed by needy beings "THIS ONE WILL HELP ME" who don't pay attention to my responses whether I'm saying no or whether I'm terrified or unhappy or mad and then it's just pulling getting

the being is in an agitated state and I'm supposed to be food or a home or slowly both aaaaaa

IT'S NOT LIKE LIVING BEINGS DON'T DO THIS oh ho ho, they certainly do, hence the fear But the thing with living beings is

you can see them

henry peach robinson, little red riding hood, 1858

there are plenty of things you can do to protect yourself in that respect boundaries, etc. I know that now but tell that to the fears they moved in first

My apologies to anyone for whom I've been a needy being grasping grasping and not listening unaware of the other just wailing and consuming Not knowing how to take care of myself

I mean as an adult

Rebecca Reeves, Gathering

and now, some lost, long-gone items ("items") of significance

1. a long, dark green velvet dress with a lace ruffle collar Barbie-sized sewn with care by my mom for a dark-haired doll who wore it and suffered gothic adventures 2. a 1976 paperback copy of "Laura" a biography of Laura Ingalls Wilder with real photographs of the family my dad handed it back to me while he was driving us to DisneyWorld a surprise road trip present from the front seat to the back seat

<thumb, thumb, thumb: eek, the daguerreotypes! LAURA'S FACE OH GOD, THEY WERE ALIVE> I burst into sobs, feeling so seen

4. my dad 1928-2005 who didn't always know how to manage himself or give himself what he needed to be well

but who paid attention and is missed

Hugo Simberg, The Garden of Death (detail), 1896

I wrote in here a couple of years ago about ancestors and not knowing what to do about them. I've learned a little more since then — i.e., turns out they're a thing and there are things you can do with and for and about them — and I'm interested, I'm interested

buuuuuut I don't quite have the guts yet,

(or the bandwidth)

but mostly the guts

You might, though You might have the interest, guts and bandwidth

And if you do, I recommend the work of Daniel Foor who has

a book on the topic

and if you're really really interested and ready

a class coming up, a big one, "Ancestral Lineage Healing" which is open for registration right now They have a beautiful policy of making the work accessible for people of all financial means, so don't let that stop you if you're into it

I'm taking an eight-week class from Daniel Foor right now called Foundations of Ritual and it's packed with goodness. I find him to be an incredibly kind and responsible instructor and the material is fascinating in the extreme. And it's experiential, too. Wild, eye-opening. The Ancestral Lineage Healing class is fourteen weeks, though. End of November through March. He doesn't sail over the top of anything. Whoever's going in is GOING IN.

maybe you would like to honor your dead in a formal way maybe now, today but you don't know how and you'd like something smaller than a class or a book you can start here with this article