Weekly Zephyr #79: Wanting Practice

Helene Schmitz, Nepenthes lowii

Do I always have to have a reason for what I want for you in here do we even always need to be thinking at all

I’m not going to I’m just going to want things, for me and for you  

H.S., Clematis-tangutica

which comes out in a day or two

eggs cooked in cream Caramelized Cream Eggs

that was not an egg cooked in cream

but a still from THE HAIRDRESSER'S HUSBAND   oh treasured erotic memory you are not streaming you are only on dvd

sometimes a person wants something a person can’t have because it doesn't exist yet

  THIS IS WHAT I WANT: the movie COCO but not animated and made for grownups and directed by, let's say, Zhang Yimou I want a confusing, multilayered, freaky, gorgeous, lush afterlife penetrated on a mission with a blissful, achy payoff

watch it while I eat caramelized cream eggs and borscht and drink dark red cordial that's been bewitched in some way i have not decided what way—i'll decide when somebody makes this movie
H.S., Cobaea-scandens

  something where all beings have  the ability and the knowledge of the ability and the ability to activate the ability   to transmute pain into pleasure, I want that

H.S., Fúchsia x hybrida

        a pile of dark red rubies that are each partially rough/partially polished the pile is a foot or more wide and eight or nine+ inches at the tallest place

don't need to have it, own it just want to spend 15 minutes looking at it    no that's bullshit I want to be able to spend 15 minutes looking at it whenever I want without leaving my house so however that would have to work

             to be able to stop and start being good on a dime by good I mean however I was socialized to be good, stop that on a dime by good I mean truly good (this is the starting) originating in the heart but translating like lightning to hands and feet like those goddesses you see in buddhist & hindu iconography seated on a lotus but with a foot out ready to jump the instant they're needed 

Imagine a being walking around electrically unsocialized but totally 100% activated in the heart

You don't know what the hell they're going to do from moment to moment,  scary,   but only in a shocking way,

not a harmful way, never + impossibly a harmful way

but still: shocking

even nerve-wracking

until/unless everyone calms down and figures out they're not in real danger

imagine being that being

  I want to be it, I want to see it,

I want to hang out with it

            not to seem good to maybe seem bad but to be so good

             a ______ in the streets a ___(the other one)___ in the sheets but vice versa but vice versa

         don't you want it?               

H.S., Magnolia-x-soulangiana 

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