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- Weekly Zephyr #6: Storekeeper's Surprise
Weekly Zephyr #6: Storekeeper's Surprise
Weekly Zephyr #6: July 6th, 2017
Photo of my rotating screensaver thing at work, 2017 I guess we'll never know what it is now or why this place was previously so inhospitable
THIS WEEK WHAT ABOUT SOMETHING IN MY HAND SOMETHING I CAN USE OR EAT OR EVEN JUST ACTUALLY SEE
YES FAIRIES* ARE DELIGHTFUL BUT WHAT SHOULD I WRITE WITH HOW DO I PEEL A DIFFICULT HARD-BOILED EGG I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO READ NEXT
*we talked about fairies last week
Well, all right. That's reasonable. We can't spend the whole summer trying to peel open our third eyes in this newsletter. I can't even teach myself to do it so it's not like if we spent the whole summer on it in the first place we'd have anything going on here besides thirdhand book-learning. What we need to do today is get access to some crazy candy, I think, and some other things that'll make everything temporarily okay.
-Everything is okay. Everything's always okay. "Exuberant is existence, time a husk." Rumi said that. -Sure, yes and simultaneously when you go local to Earth and zoom in on, say, our times everything is of course not okay And today we're not solving that with solutions but with candy, etc.
STOP NOODLING TAKE US TO THE ITEMS
One:
The pen I'm using at work these days.
As you can see, it's a Uni-Ball Signo. We had some other sorts of pens in rotation before and I thought I had it good then. I was a child. This is like buttah. My handwriting with this pen is legible and almost pretty. Somebody could analyze that handwriting and I wouldn't even blink.
"I feel like I've been writing with my hands for my whole life!" -Tina R., Seattle, WA
Two:
The Negg. I would either never regret buying this or always regret buying this but I think NEVER.
Three (please be candy):
It is candy. It's more than one candy. And it's all from The Vermont Country Store so you know it's going to be nice, weird, old candy.
B B Bats "B B Bats have been a favorite since 1924." A favorite since 1924?
Four.
I don't know who spoke up to the Vermont Country Store about these childhood faves and demanded improvements (I'm guessing those improvements were re: being so sheer somebody needed a robe?) but I would bet she spoke up pretty hard about this little ruffly sleeper set, and I sure wish I had a copy of the I was going to say email but I think that was maybe definitely fucking not an email though I don't want to jump to conclusions. Didn't Samantha on Bewitched wear something like these? To bed, I mean. Not up and around and trying not to do magic for her superstupid husband. Am I dreaming? How did this stay a fave? Wouldn't the leg elastic dig in to your thigh? You'd need to be a pretty skinny complainer to care this much about somebody getting these pajamas right. I'm imagining she's married. These seem like married pajamas. Hope you don't sleep on your left side with that bow there. Ow. In any case, they're for sale.
Five:
The entire spirited baked goods section. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, EVERYBODY, WE'LL HAVE THIS.
I'm pretty desperate to know who spoke up about those pajamas. I want to know everything. I wish there were a six-volume memoir a la Karl Ove Knausgaard's "My Struggle" but by her.
And now a really good, really special, not nonsense thing. If you are at a loss for what to read next, please try this.
I'm reading this slowly and with extreme pleasure right now. Hard to explain how magical it is. It makes me feel very here, very now when I read it. Alive and crisply aware of/even grateful for my physical surroundings and full of a happy, unanswerable question. To acquire one, click on this sentence
THE END EXCEPT FOR ONE QUESTION
[nope] [it is not ours to know] but have this, this is for sure unwrappable