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- Weekly Zephyr #20: Elf Sabbatical
Weekly Zephyr #20: Elf Sabbatical
Weekly Zephyr #20: October 12th, 2017
Claire Partington, The Urban Planner, 2014
Always a dilemma around here:
Express the energy of the week
Counteract the energy of the week
I set out in the beginning to make this newsletter light because circumstances in the world (and in my own corner) had gotten very heavy and I'd stopped making things. So the plan was to have fun floating some treats over to you on this breeze.
But every week— AS YOU KNOW, BEING LIVING THINGS OF THIS EARTH— brings some new heaviness to drag us all down and among us is this newsletter, also subject to gravity.
I never do want to front like the world isn't melting But this goddamn thing is A ZEPHYR or else I would have named it
THE WEEKLY ANVIL
I can't be making this same disclaimer every week OR CAN I
Outside
this newsletter we may continue making ourselves sick with disgust over Harvey Weinstein's crimes and we are correct to be sick with worry over the fires in Northern California and the lights are still out in Puerto Rico and the man with the hair is still over there
but
IN HERE TODAY
let's blow this popsicle stand
we'll go through here
head down here and drop into that dark patch
yeah this looks good let's see where this one goes
oh huh what's up here
Figured we'd find a pocket park or something but
heeeeey
ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE CHILLING IN
LOTHLÓRIEN
Óh, I made the Ó like that and everything
gonna get hooked up with elf bread and life juice and emergency star flashlights get our minds read, forget about mordor for a bit how soon do we need to get to mount doom anyway, we have a minute right i'm going to hang for a week or so month, maybe, I dunno
oh what's this the elves have some packets for us what's in 'em
1. Gloves in a Bottle
You might not know about Gloves in a Bottle but now you do. I was in a— excuse me— an elf was at the pharmacy picking up some medication for his mom and they had this at the checkstand, a sample bottle. The elf had seen it there a bunch of times and thought it looked creepy. But then the elf tried it and holy shit everybody Gloves in a Bottle. SHIELDING LOTION. Gonna protect all our hands on the way to Mordor if we ever decide to get out there. It even lasts through hand washings. It's so silky. It's just so silky.
2. THE LITTLE HOURS
Galadriel says: RENT THIS SCHIZZ QUICK It's hilarious/absurd like Monty Python but completely American in the best way. Shambly + casual/deadpan + INSANE. Monty Python and Animal House and Bridesmaids and, I don't know, Withnail & I all put their eggs and sperm together and had a baby. Don't watch it with the kids. You probably figured.
3. I heard Nick Offerman's in that movie. I like him. Do the elves have anything else with Nick Offerman in it, maybe like an audio book
The audiobook of Lincoln in the Bardo is the best several nights at the theater you may ever spend. Can you see up there where it says 166 narrators? Everybody is in there. All 166 people in the world. The cast is star-studded to the point where it's almost funny and their performances are perfect.
The elves want to thank their beloved friend Horse Lime for steering them to this audiobook, the only audiobook they've ever listened to, and now it's hard to figure out what could possibly follow it, audiobookwise.
We have to leave this newsletter in a minute It's basically over for the week