Weekly Zephyr #17: Ill Communication

Weekly Zephyr #17: September 21st, 2017

Clémentine de Chabaneix, Frileuse, made during a year but I have a cold so I'm not working out which one

It's so clammy, so clammy, the feeling, looking at that thing* I don't feel well enough to look at it I'm practically punking myself putting it there but I can't argue with it. It's so true. That's really it.

"Frileuse" means "sensitive to cold; nervous" Clémentine, you DID IT. That's what that looks like and that's how it makes me feel.

So I'm putting this here in case you don't have a cold but you would like to feel like you do.

*that thing = that super cool sculpture, which I can feel about it when I'm not looking right at it Désolé for the disrespect, Clémentine de Chabaneix. (I had to type that name again. Imagine if that were your name.) (You'd have to nickname yourself Mudge or something just to feel like you're not bragging by merely introducing yourself.)

I'm sick. I may have stated that already. Are you sick? It's Autumn now. It's looming. Take your vitamins and go to bed early. Today (I'm typing this on Wednesday) I thought it was Tuesday and I was like, Oh, boy, I have to write my newsletter tomorrow. I hope I feel better by then. And then I realized OH GOD IT'S WEDNESDAY. So the only thing to do is to make this a cold-themed newsletter otherwise I would have to fake heartiness -->IMPOSSIBLE, UNACCEPTABLE. 

GREAT ILLNESSES FROM CLASSIC CHILDREN'S LITERATURE

two, the main ones you might have other main ones but they are not here

1. Chapter 15, "Fever 'N' Ague", from Little House on the Prairie  

Here's Laura crawling to get some water because an unthinkable thing has happened where the whole family is sick and everybody's on their own. Ma and Pa are down. Laura's going to have to fill her own damn tin cup. I was shocked when I read this for the first time. Parents get sick? And then they can't help you? Jesus Christ. What a game-changer. Horrifying.

Would you care to do some homework? Here you go:

"while the winds blew healthfully over her"

Beth. BETH. You* grow up in a family where illness is currency and then you read about BETH who was a SAINT and an ANGEL and EVERYONE LOVED HER and she DIED from an ILLNESS which was a DIRECT CONSEQUENCE of SELF-SACRIFICE and KINDNESS and she was even making CLOTHES for neighborhood CHILDREN while she was on her DEATHBED.

*me

I was sick all the time as a child. And so I was sick when I first read Little Women, naturally. I wrote notes from my sickbed to my mom and I sure did call her Marmee and then I signed them    your ever-loving little Tina

   aaaaaa blwohp (a puke sound effect) (straight into a plastic bucket)

     LESSON FROM BETH >>>BE SICK, BE PERFECT<<< PEOPLE LOVE THAT SHIT

WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS DO FOR ME, TINA, ESPECIALLY IF I AM SICK. OF WHAT USE ARE THESE MUSINGS.

None use. You are correct. Let's have elixirs and weird tonics and pleasant distractions instead.

BUT REAL QUICK, THOUGH Q: Do you take a fever-reducer when you have a small fever? Never do I have a small fever without spending hours in debate with myself about this. LET THE FEVER BURN OUT THE VIRUS/TAKE A PILL AND FEEL A LITTLE BETTER   People have very firm opinions about this and they share them with me and yet none of this input makes me any more decisive on this matter. Before I die, I want to live for a while knowing exactly how I handle this.

  GOGOL-MOGOL

Kogel mogel, gogl-mogl, gogel-mogel, gogol-mogol, gogli-mogli, gogle-mogle An eggy, drinky, dessert thing that might help your throat? I've never tried it. Also: Nobody drew the line, spelling-wise? Everybody just kept freestyling? "I'm going to need you to file all of our gogl-mogl recipes." "I resign."

  Purdy's Cold and Flu Buster

My friend Mary Purdy is a nutritionist and when I moaned on FB about being ill, she very generously emailed me this recipe. I haven't been brave enough to do it. Warm onion...smoothie, I, I—but what if it helps? To be fair, maybe it's more of a soup.

SOME ALSO SUGGEST DONNING COLD WET SOCKS AND THEN PUTTING WOOL SOCKS ON TOP AND SLEEPING WITH THIS SETUP. OTHERS SUGGEST PUTTING RAW ONIONS IN YOUR SOCKS, OR IN YOUR COLD WET SOCKS, ETC.   WHY IS IT NEVER "LISTEN TO DEBUSSY IN JUST ONE EAR FOR 15 MINUTES" "HUG COTTON ALL NIGHT" "POWDERED SUGAR IN COFFEE, THAT'S IT. WHOLE TRICK. WORKS GREAT."

NETFLIX FOR WHILE YOU AIL

Have you seen BRIGHT STAR?

You are probably not as sick as John Keats and also it's a great movie 

Why not treat also yourself to Slow TV: National Firewood Night "Watch Norwegians demonstrate how to chop and stack firewood, and then sit back and enjoy the slow burn of a crackling fireplace in a Bergen farmhouse." Rated: G 6 hours 1 min.