Weekly Zephyr #14: August 31st, 2017

Lydia Ricci, Mid-Life Crisis Convertible, 2017 all these bomb-ass things she makes from scraps

Hey, Tina

yeah

let's review

    okay

Two weeks ago we stopped by the Holocaust

I remember that

And then last week, the week right after that, you were all "how about we talk about the shadow"

  yes.

Q: Are we ever allowed to have fun in here again?

YES.

We can, we have to, we're going to. WE'RE SECONDS AWAY FROM THAT VERY THING.  I can't promise only fun because we're in this particular era of this particular world. Uninterrupted fun is not the truth nor is it seemly nor is it cool nor is it even fun after a while. Sometimes we're going to get two somber-ish weeks in a row. But I care about freshness vs. repetitiveness and making a good mix and I think I can pledge to you that I'm pretty sure* we will never have three or more somber weeks in a row.  I mean, I don't even want to know what would be going on where I'd break this new rule. Let's take a minute to not imagine that.

*"I think I can pledge to you that I'm pretty sure" text lifted from my wedding vows

Weekly Zephyr Pep Rally Ideas to keep our spirits up: Feat. top hit "(Your mascot) ARE ON FIRE" "Have a clothes relay race using borrowed fireman equipment such as hats, boots, and jackets. In teams of three, have students subscribers race to a point, dress up, race back, undress, and hand off to another team member, then repeat. Throw Atomic Fireballs candy into the stands to get their mouths on fire. Make signs that say “(Your Mascot) are on fire” and “Get Fired Up.” Chant, “We’re Fired Up and Ready.” If possible, the team could arrive on fire trucks. You can also play “Red Hots.” Smear shaving cream all over a person’s face and have them lay on the ground. Have another team member on a chair above them and drop Red Hots on their faces. The team that has the most in one minute wins."

SHOULD WE DO THIS

 Prince's Sister Says His Favorite Color Was Orange, Not Purple

aw, don't faint

too late

   is there any possible way we could have seen this coming?

collage a superfan friend had on her phone already before this orange news broke reporters have clearly been on the scene

AN INCOMPLETE SAMPLING OF PRINCE DREAMS I'VE HAD: It's 2013 and in real life Prince is coming to the Showbox very soon + I cannot afford a ticket. I'm at a cash machine and suddenly the machine spits out $500 with a message from future me, a me like five years away, all "i know you can use this money NOW GO SEE PRINCE" I didn't even know you could send money back and forth in time! I'm going to get to go! Oh, no, I woke up. // 2017 I'm getting off a train in my neighborhood that drops people off at an underground mall (no, but in the dream). Suddenly Prince is there getting off the train, too, and he's all, "You have the same size feet as me. Where can I buy some boots?" and I'm all WHAT WHOA and I tell him "There's a ladies' shoe store right there, they probably have boots" and he's like, cool, thanks and skips off to buy himself some Lake City mall boots // 2006 I'm going for an interview to be Prince's personal assistant. I skip up to his house wearing a matching vintage 60's scarlet cloche and wool coat and he opens the door and is all I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT and he spins me around and then we have an interview in his bedroom and then, uh [lesson learned: turns out, if you whisper into somebody's shoulder blade, that's 759 times more erotic than you thought] // 2017 I'm walking down the street in between what's possibly Chaka Khan on the one side and an epic Tina Turner-y-ish somebody else on the other side. We run into Prince walking the other way and he does that lower-the-sunglasses-WELL-HELLO-LADIES look as he walks by and I know right away that he did that on purpose to help my self-esteem. // 2017 Hanging in Prince's basement guest room, just pals, drinking coffee. Suddenly he narrows his eyes and says, "Are you planning on staying all day?" [like: don't] and I'm like I MIGHT, THOUGH

pretty:

Artistic Maps of Pakistan & India Show the Embroidery Techniques of Their Different Regions​

CRY FROM SOMETHING FUNNY FOR A GODDAMN CHANGE

I'm bonkers for this woman's new special on Netflix.

THAT FANCY GRANDMA TUNIC + WHITE TIGHTS + THOSE GOLD BEJEWELED CRAZY WAY-HIGH-UP ANKLE STRAPS + HER WEIRD PERFECT SHUFFLY SLURRING DELIVERY  <3 <3 <3   We watched it a few days ago and I've gone in there and watched at least a few minutes (sometimes all of them) every day since. I've sucked the surprise completely out of it but I came to love it so much that I miss it when I don't see it for a while. It's like some new kind of gum where the flavor is so out-of-the-blue and dreamy that you keep chewing it for days long after the flavor is gone because what if it comes back? What if there's a secret storehouse of flavor juice in there? Aren't you going to feel like a fool if you stopped chewing when you were five minutes away from a whole new round.

"Call Waiting"

        "Pina Colada"

"Fish Food"