Poor Fat Demons

From the archives of the Weekly Zephyr

Dear readers,
Every day this week I’m going to post an archived piece from The Weekly Zephyr as Clown Class fades away and the new form of the newsletter gestates.

April 3rd, 2019

On Twitter this morning, saw this one

"Feeling old fat poor unsuccessful today. Send hugs."

which is a perfect tweet. Let's meet there. Many of us have lounge chairs set up in that tweet already on a permanent basis.I love her for piping up. There they are, the four most forever things we try to hide and she was like to hell with it, check me out.I'd already hugged her by the time she asked.

OLD

we absolutely love it in objects: oh yes. the wabi-sabi.wine, the consensus is that it works for wine. leather, broken-in. B/W photographs of wrinkly people *who aren't us*, ahh, they're so beautiful. mmm, the lines, the life.

I'm 49 and the skin on my hands is going papery, criss-crossed with tiny wrinkle triangles. (I went to take a picture because I thought "I'll like them better as art objects" which was true while I was thinking about them as art objects and staging the shots but then I thought

GOOD GOD HANDS ARE INSANETHUMBS SHOULD PROBABLY NOT BE AT THAT ANGLE?THISCLOSE TO GOOGLING "HEALTHY THUMB ANGLES FOR 49-YEAR-OLD WOMEN"

and I did take some pictures but I'm not putting one here because I'd fuss over it for half an hour and I need to live)

My son Fred is nine. When we compare hands he's unfiltered about itWOW, LOOK AT YOUR HANDS, WOW he saysLOOK AT MINE he brags and that's fine. He gets to enjoy his dewy little paws if he wants to. He'll be an old man noticing his hands soon enough.

trees, we love old trees. jeans. books. buildings. recipes. temples, churches. (buildings but with more vibes.) what else. our grandparents. betty white. rings, watches, jewels.these old things and more, we love them. god forbid we feel ourselves to grow more treasure-like with time.

FAT

cream, a person who is hugging usavocados: the good fat!a round booty if everything else goes in right

did I miss a beloved/acclaimed fat? baby cheeks, yeah, them.anything else?

meanwhile, the natural world is around us in its many formations, all totally cool. INCLUDING US. but we think we're something else that should be something else. what have we done to ourselves.

POOR

the Cratchits, the Weasleyswonderful, wonderful folksJesus said something about blessedhe had to make a point of it though already

two thousand years ago

when did that kick in?"UGH, the POOR"how soon after there was rich and poor did that get bad?

UNSUCCESSFUL

Somehow this is the worst of all.This entire concept.A being came to Earth.It wept and squirmed and breathed and grew.Tried some things.Good, do that! Oh, no, that didn't—No, no. Whoops! You biffed the-oh my god. WRONG. That's not it.That wasn't it.Well, that was your life.Nice try.

It's profane is what it is.

When I read her tweet and I was like ha ha and oh, me too and maybe I'm a late bloomer and I took a shower thinking yeah, maybe I'm a late bloomerthen I was like WTF IS A LATE BLOOMERWHAT IS LATE BLOOMINGHOW CAN BLOOMING BE LATEBLOOMING IS RIGHT ON TIMEWHAT IS BLOOMING WHILE WE'RE AT ITWHAT CONSTITUTES A BLOOM

"what's that plant?""never mind that plant. it's not even a bloomer."

WHAT DEGREE OF BLOOMING QUALIFIES

DOES A BLOOM NEED TO BE ON A PUBLIC STREET

do you see what I mean?

It's fucking dippy. It's unconsidered. Don't fall for it. It's stupid.

YOUR AGE IS GRANDYOUR BODY HAS BEEN WITH YOU THIS WHOLE TIME LIKE A HEROIT IS SHAPED AS PERFECTLY AS ANY TREEYOUR BANK ACCOUNT IS REALBUT IS ITI MEAN ITIS ITIF CIVILIZATION COLLAPSES THERE WILL STILL BE BODIES IN TIMEBUT NOT BANK ACCOUNTSSO I GIVE IT A HALF-REALAND PROMISE ME YOU WON'T GO WRECKING YOURSELF WITH SOME FAKE SUCCESS GRAPH THAT'S LESS REAL THAN A BANK ACCOUNT,MY GODYOU GOT HERE TO EARTH,YOU'RE DOING ITYOU'RE DOING THE WHOLE THING,THIS IS IT